Ladies only :7 Things You Must Know About Your Man

IT'S often said that when you first meet a man, you're actually meeting his, "representative." If you're a serious Lady, this "representative" will show you his honest, straightforward style in an effort to win you over. If you're an adventurous Lady who loves to have a great time, he will reveal his outrageous sense of humor and may even suggest a mountain-climbing trip. If you're a tad old-fashioned, he'll nearly trip over himself to open your door.

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First step:IS HE FREE?

First things first: Ask your man if he's married or in an otherwise committed relationship. That's right--some men who are so eager to get to know you better may employ the don't ask, don't tell policy about the women in their life, says Lawrence James, president of the Association of Black Psychologists, Chicago chapter. "Some men will hide the fact that they're married if they are unhappy in their marriage, or if he wants to have his cake and eat it too, and is still living the life of a bachelor," he explains. Dr. James adds that there are certain tell-tale signs of a Brother who's on the prowl. For instance, upon meeting him, if your-man-to-be doesn't offer you his home number, or cell phone number, be suspicious. (The same rule applies if you are given a home number but are only allowed to call during specific hours.) "Trust your gut feeling about the man," Dr. James says. "If he is doing things and taking you places that indicate that he's hiding out, it should raise questions about his availability for you."

2nd step. WHAT ARE HIS INTENTIONS?

Don't assume that just because his face lights up like a Christmas tree every time he sees you that he's in this relationship for the long haul. And since there is a wide spectrum of relationships ranging from the "just hanging out" phase to marriage, New York psychologist Vera S. Paster, author of Staying Married: A Guide for African-American Couples, says Sisters should ask their potential mate immediately what his expectations are.

"The woman needs to know if what he wants is compatible with what she wants. For example, if she is looking for a permanent romantic relationship leading to marriage, she ought to know if he's the marrying type," Dr. Paster says. "She needs to know if he's able to commit himself to her, or if he's looking for a friendship or just a romantic liaison."

Houston-area psychologist Lesajean Jennings agrees and says it's best to ask rather than assume. "We often see signs and we know what they are, but we just don't want to believe them," she says. "Maybe this is a nice, attractive, kindhearted guy who just isn't ready for you. Pay attention to how he refers to you in public (does he call you `just a friend,' or `the love of his life'?) and ask the right questions (where are we headed in this friendship?). It's more fruitful to listen and pay close attention to what's actually flashing on the wall than to assume."

3rd step. WHAT IS HIS SEXUAL HISTORY?

Inquiring about your mate's sexual health is definitely your business, especially if you decide to have an intimate relationship with him. Unfortunately, not many people will be open and honest about at-risk behavior, so it's always best to protect yourself--even if Mr. Right swears he is an adult virgin who was born and reared in the Holy Land. "Nowadays you need to get a very recent lab report on folks," warns Faruq Iman, president of the Association of Black Psychologists' Delaware Valley chapter. Dr. Jennings takes it a step further, saying that the woman should get tested as well. "If a woman wants her man to be tested for every sexually transmitted disease in the books, she should be willing to undergo those tests as well, she says. "In this clay of AIDS, herpes, and everything else that can last a lifetime or even kill you, it's important that you practice safe sex, no matter what."

4th step. ARE THERE SKELETONS IN HIS CLOSET?

Let's face it, Ladies, all men (and women) have a past. And as many history buffs will declare, if you don't learn from the past, you are bound to repeat it. Some relationship therapists conclude that it's best to ask about your mate's previous relationships, not to get the gossip on what went wrong, but rather, to discover if your mate has a pattern that will inevitably manifest in your current relationship. For instance, some [financially conservative] men date long and hard and then bail out right before the holiday season, only to return when he's no longer expected to give a gift. Some men are commitment-phobes who stick around faithfully until they hear the words "I love you," and then they take off like a runaway train. "Humans are very cyclical," explains Dr. Jennings. "We are likely to do the same thing over and over again, unless we make a conscious effort to change."

There are dating hazards in finding out about your mate's past relationship, however, says Dr. Iman. He suggests that, unless the man is a chronic philanderer, it's not a good idea for a woman to ask about his past relationships, because she may make judgments against him. "[Asking about previous relationships] is similar to asking someone their zodiac sign, and then making a pre-judgment based upon their sign. This may dictate how the woman will treat the man from that point [of discovery] on, and this will slant the relationship."

5th step . DOES HE HAVE MONEY PROBLEMS?

It's no surprise that many major relationship arguments occur because of money or the lack of it--how one partner spends it, or envy because one partner makes more than the other. In a budding relationship, financial issues may not arise because, generally, both partners tend to their Naira separately. But if this is a relationship that is inching toward a permanent union, experts advise couples to sit down with a financial planner to avoid future conflict. In the meantime, observe your partner's spending habits to determine if his habits are in line with your own; and ask about his views on saving and investing. Does he owe alimony or child support, and if he does, is he paying it? Conventional wisdom states that if a man ducks out on supporting his family, he'll probably duck out on you.

Warning! Inquiring about how your partner handles his money does not translate into asking how much money he earns, which is a major no-no, says Dr. James. "Asking a man how much he earns is rude. Most men see that as a gold-digger's inquiry," he argues. "It sends the message that money is all that you're interested in."But money should not be topmost issue since money is not everything but its important...

6th step. DOES HE HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD?

Safety experts often advise women to check out their mate's past thoroughly before getting involved, and for a few Naira, how you doing it is.... But delving into his background or paying someone to round up all of his traffic tickets may cause you to miss out on a good thing, "You may prejudge a man because his record isn't squeaky clean, and that says that you don't believe that a person can be rehabilitated," he states. Regardless of his past, it's imperative to trust your instincts about your man. Dr. Jennings says that a woman should ask herself the following: "Do I feel physically and emotionally safe with him?" "Does he permit me to grow and develop in this relationship?" And, "Does he allow me to feel secure in this relationship?"But remember any body can change thats the facts.

7th step. DOES HE LOVE AND RESPECT HIS MOTHER AND OTHER PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE?

Is your man a mama's boy? Did she instill in him the importance of loving and respecting women, or did she groom him to believe that he's God's gift to the female species? The best way to get quality information about your man (outside of asking him and imposing the "scout's honor" code to get the truth) is to observe his behavior with family and friends, says Dr. Jennings. "Look at his mother and father and the relationship they have. Basically we learn how to treat others from our families," she says. "We learn how to `do' relationships from watching how our parents treat each other." She adds that if there is a bad family system (i.e., one parent is verbally abusive), it doesn't mean that you should write your man off. "Some men become conscious of the things that are going on badly in their family and are able to correct themselves when they get involved in relationships."

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Expect:

...signs he likes you

five secrets of law of attracttion thats works

...signs she likes you(for men) .

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The Guru(relationship/love matters etc)

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Just for Guys

Art of Kissing a Women on Your First Date "Take her to paradise with your kiss!!! or you miss her" -genesis

At the end of a first date comes that awkward moment when you must decide if you want to kiss her or not. Also, if you do kiss her it had better be good to make a favorable impression. It may not be fair, but some single women will judge you on your first kiss as to whether she would be attracted to you want to date you again.

In other words, she must feel some chemistry when she kisses you.

If you are a lousy kisser, then you're going to be a failure at creating good chemistry between you and your date. Is chemistry important on a first date? You bet it is! And if you're a great kisser, you're going to turn her on and have an edge on the other guys that date her that are lousy kissers. So, just exactly what makes a good kisser and kisses that single women that you go out with won't forget? The key is to be soft and gentle and follow her lead...that's all there is to it.

Kissing Explained A first kiss should always be done while the two of you are alone. This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best type of kiss is one that uses different variations... such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French Kiss, maybe sucking on your partner's upper or lower lip... And don't just leave kisses to the lips. Kiss their cheeks, their chin or their eyelids. This can be very seductive and romantic. Basic Kissing Tips Great Breath - This is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. There is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath. If your date consists of having something to eat before the actual kiss, make sure you have a mint on hand to take right after you finish eating. Don't take the mint just before the kiss or chew on gum. You don't want to have something in your mouth when you kiss. Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist when you kiss. Run your tongue over your lips once before you kiss. Don't wear lip gloss because that tends to make the kiss too gooey. And don't wear a lot of lipstick unless you want your partner to wear it too after the kiss. Slightly moist lips makes it easier to move your lips over your partner's and gives both you and your partner a more pleasant experience. Positioning - Stand close to your partner. As the two of you move closer together tilt your head slightly. If you can see which way your partner's head is tilting, tilt your head slightly in the opposite direction. Close Eyes - Just before your lips meet, close your eyes. Some people prefer to leave their eyes open during the kiss. But until you know what your partner prefers, it is best to close your eyes. dough it happens naturally some times. Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly and place your lips over your partner's lips. Do not hold your breath! Breath through your nose. As your lips meet, press them gently over your partner's. You may wish to move your lips in a slow, circular motion or just leave them still over your partners. Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you'd give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you're nervous.

French Kissing This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create a great french kiss.

Open Lips - Open your lips over your partner's slightly more than you would during a regular kiss. This makes it easier to place your tongue in your partner's mouth. Tongue - Place the tip of your tongue on the tip of your partner's tongue. Do not force your tongue too far into their mouth. If you wish, you can play with their tongue by circling theirs with your own. Have fun with it. Explore.

Lips - You may explore different ways of using your tongue. Try running the tip of your tongue over your partner's lips. Do this slowly and gently, just using the tip of your tongue.

Suck Kissing This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.

Nip Kissing This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your date. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your date / partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.

Surprise Kissing This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens. Troubleshooting - For PERFECT KISS There are many ways that first kiss can go terribly wrong, but most are easily avoided. BEWARE: Moving too quickly Be careful not to startle the kissee - watch and wait for the signal to proceed If you aren't sensitive in your kissing, how empathetic and caring can you be about the rest of the realtionship... Wet, sloshy, squishy, fishy If you or the kissee need to wipe your lips, or chin, dry after the kiss - well, it wasn't 'perfect' was it? Smash-mouth smothering kiss of death Avoid the over-passionate, insensitive kiss that leaves the kissee gasping for air. Chapped, Cactus Lips There's a delicate balance to lip moisture equation. The last thing you want to do is drool on your partner, but you definitely don't want to leave scars with crispy, chafed lips. Too much Tongue and Too Much, Too Soon Keep that tongue tucked away until you get the right signals, then apply with caution - later Dragon Breath A mint or two, breath saver, gum, spray - anything to get rid of gunk-mouth. Weak, Wobbly or Wooden Passionless Pecks The swoop in and bounce out kiss is simply meaningless - unless you want to impart a "let's just sort-of be friends" type of message. Smacking, Clacking Loud Kisses The old "clack and smack" kills romance in a flash.